Your Narrative….Your Life
We all love a good story!
Story telling is the social and cultural activity of sharing stories, they include plots, characters and narratives of different point of views. Storytelling can be seen as a foundation for learning and teaching. While the story listener is engaged, they are able to imagine new perspectives, inviting a transformative and empathetic experience. storytelling has a therapeutic and healing effect on both the storyteller and the listener.
Narrative Psychology
In the realm of narrative psychology, a person’s life story is not a Wikipedia biography of the facts and events of a life, but rather the way a person integrates those facts and events internally — picks them apart and weaves them back together to make meaning. This narrative becomes a form of identity, in which the things someone chooses to include in the story, and the way he/she tells it, can both reflect and shape who she/he is. A life story doesn’t just say what happened, it says why it was important, and it gives an indication on one’s mental and emotional state, it is one’s perspective and own interpretation of what happened.
“Any creation of a narrative is a bit of a lie.”
THE AHA MOMENT!
I consider myself as someone who has a pretty good sense of awareness , very conscious and experienced in shadow work , someone used to the ownership and responsibility of my own life events, however, I realised that the experience of trauma, can make our narration a bit distorted…I mean a lot distorted.
I have been working through past traumatic events using different tools and modalities from psychology and spirituality to energy , breath and sound healing, but as we all know, healing is not linear, we process, we release, and then the same issues circle back again for another round of introspection, forgiveness and letting go.
I was revisiting past events, as part of my morning journaling routine, and for the first time, I felt the veil was completely lifted, Then I had an AHA moment!! I was able to see my life from a completely different space. I saw the truth of past events, without self identification nor emotional attachment.
Fortunately, our story is not written in Ink, its written in chalk, and we own it, we are the writers, narrators and the main character.
How you arrange the plot points of your life into a narrative can shape who you are — and is a fundamental part of being human- Julie Beck
The Ego Seeks Validation In a Hopeless place!
This was the hidden part for me, while I had the awareness of my own mental challenges, and I was doing my best to move past all the pain and suffering I have experienced, I kept repeating the same stories when I referred to my past … “ I was betrayed by ____”, “I was rejected by _______” , “I felt abandoned by ______”, “ _______made me feel that I am not enough” “ I did not feel heard, seen and understood by____”
I guess we can all recognise few negative patterns here;
There is always a third party involved in our story, it could be anyone, a parent, a partner, a friend, an organisation, a boss. Now if we ask ourselves, is this true? did the person consciously do that? did he have any other choices, considering his cognitive abilities, and his own wounds, and the projection of his pain body? the answer to these questions will always be negative, because no human being wants harm to another just for fun, we all act unconsciously and impulsively ,when our pain body is not healed.
The pain body is the energetic body that holds all our unhealed emotional memories. NOW the Shocking realisation, is the ego’s despair to feel validated, special and better than everyone else, makes us believe that if we could not be special by getting the love and attention , we can feel special by being the one with the most suffering and hurt, the one who had been rejected &…&…
The final truth is, the third party is not involved in our story, we are getting ourselves involved in his story in our attempt to be a HERO, while in fact “THE ONLY STORY WHERE WE SHOULD BE PLAYING HEROES OR HEROINS IS OUR OWN”
Final Thoughts / PRO TIPS
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself’- Jalaludin Rumi
As someone who loves Rumi, his poetry, and wisdom, I came across this quote many times but I can say that similar to the Sufi tradition, this quote is multi-dimensional, it carries so much wisdom, on how to heal the self, how to cultivate self love, and how to let go of the illusions and tricks of the wounded ego.
Here are few tips:
- Work on cultivating a good healthy self love, give yourself the validation you seek, practice self care, make yourself a priority, be special in your own life because thats the only place you can be special. Everywhere else, work on dissolving your ego, and discipline him to be ordinary, one of billions, “a consciousness” part of the “collective consciousness”.
- What is yours to carry? honor other people’s journey and level of consciousness, and move on with grace, compassion and love.
- Don’t take yourself seriously? not everything is personal ! the universe does not evolve around you, and people have plenty to deal with. Not everything about you.
Our life narrative integrates our reconstructed past, perceived present, and imagined future. All three coexist at the same time. Hence, from an experiential standpoint, the past, present, and future are not separate and linear, but holistic and co- past, present, and future are all happening right now — at least in your mind.
When we change the meaning and narrative of our past, we simultaneously change the narrative of our present and future. we form our identity by integrating our life experiences into an internalised, evolving story of ourselves, which gives a sense of unity and purpose to our lives. Choose your narrative wisely, because that’s how you will be remembered! There is always a gain in the gap!
